Sunday, December 10, 2006

Webster's Word of the Year





http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061208/ap_on_re_us/word_of_the_year_2

Truthiness was named word of the year according to the folks at Merriam-Webster. You may not find it in the dictionary, but I got a feeling it'll soon be there.

When I saw that the Word of the Year was attributed to Stephen Colbert, I almost expected it to have something to do with bears.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

"Perfection is a Skinned Knee"

I think it was back in October when I'd declared I would quit smoking. I've cheated on this resolve a number of times. Telling myself: "Well at least I've cut back." Which I have. A pack of cigarettes lasting an entire week. Until one night Jim saw the pack of cigarettes in my coat pocket. He didn't ride my ass about it, but he made a couple comments that made me feel reasonably guilty. In trying to keep things positive--And not wanting to do this out of guilt--I try to remember when I was 1yr + without a cigarette and how he would proudly tell his friends I've been smoke-free.

I don't understand why that's such a big deal to me-- That someone be proud of me.
And that when people talk about me and are given to describe me and my habits it be resonably admirable. I mean, it's common sense that a person wants others to speak well of them. But I worry about the type of compliments.
"Oatmeal above the eyebrows, that girl. But she's a good lay!" --I'd said this about myself the other night, suggesting this was what Jim thought of me. Naturally, he begged to differ. Since then, he's been telling me my redeeming qualities are my cooking and my writing. And I don't need a degree to be a good writer. My writing skills are born of instinct and self-education via reading other literature. There's a lot of truth to this, really. It's called 'Felt Sense'. I did a paper on it for Grammar in Context. It's how we know something but can't explain how we know it. Something that's inherent and you have a helluva time teaching it to someone else because you've never had to stop and take it apart. Because it worked.

What's fucked up about it for me, is that all the knowledge I find 2nd nature is shit that does me no good in the real world. I can read a book and paint you a picture. But that doesn't get my checkbook balanced or get the ducks herded back into the pen.
I'm a winner. Oh yes.

Maybe it's nicotine withdrawals. Jim noticed it yesterday,
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Is it me?"
"No! Not at all. Don't worry about it. It's nothing."
"I've known you for 6 years," (7, going on 8) "I know when something's bothering you."

I just haven't been feeling very intelligent lately. He's told me to stop this "I'm stupid" talk because it's simply not true. He's so kind.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

"You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

This recent bite from the creative bug is infecting more than just my desire to draw. At least this is the conclusion I'm drawing. As I'd told Sarah last night, I noticed that this desire to do more/be more creative in the kitchen surfaced about the same time my desire to draw did. And now I'm wanting to paint. Googling all the Great Masters and saving the pictures. Had I the ink, I'd be printing them and sticking them in my sketch book. Something to reference. Something to admire & inspire.
I'm also exceptionally excited about our Thanksgiving Dinner I'm planning for tomorrow. I got a bird, the whole 9 yards. I've been talking about it since Monday or Tuesday, I think.
“You're looking forward to this, aren't you?” Jim'd asked with a grin.
I explained that for me the holidays had always represented a time for cooking and baking. A time for good food and lots of it.
Last night I made spaghetti. Jim called me last night and I ended up divulging all my intended surprises. Even the gizzards. He chuckled lightly as I was babbling on about the menu, but wouldn't tell me what he thought was so funny.
Then, this morning I brought in the spaghetti and Jim said, “You're trying to kill me, aren't you?”
“What??”
“With all this food.”
I do love cooking and baking. Although I must confess that it's not a consistent love. Which is not unlike my fascination with haute coture.
The only snag here, is that some of the dishes I would love to do are things that Jim probably wouldn't touch with a 40ft. pole.(Asian Cookbook, I'm looking at you.)
But it just seems so perfect that this desire to cook surfaced when it did. 'tis the season and all that rot.
But—Anyway,
Yes, I'm tickled about the Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. I hope I can pull it off. I somehow ended up taking the pumpkin pie out and replacing it with a frozen banana creme. It's cheating, but Sarah assures me there's nothing wrong with cheating. I do intend to make fresh pies this year, but due to time issues, the only way I could squeeze in the time for a fresh one would be to go home early today. Like at noon or something. But I'm still on the proverbial picket fence with that one.

I feel slightly guilty, actually. When I talk about it with Sarah. Fixing this great feast that she may not get any of. But remembering that we'll have our own feast next Thursday with the fam. When I was babbling last night, Jim suggested I make a pie or two for next Thursday. I said I hadn't figured out exactly what, but I did intend to make stuff to bring. Deviled Eggs naturally popped to the fore and Jim said he'd bring me 2 dozen eggs. There's a part of me that's thinking about how health conscious the Family Feast will be, and how Mom will put some queer spin on an old fave. Remember the pie she made with raw sugar and some hippie wheat flour? And if I bring dishes, they'll be traditional.

Shit. This isn't getting any writing done. And last night Jim urged me to get to bed early so I'd be rested enough to write today. Really write.
Well alright. I'll open it and make myself sit in front of it. Until I can't stand it anymore.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

No, R-Tard! It's an MMORPG.


The New Season of South Park's begun. And what an opening episode! It totally rips on WoW addicts.
"We need someone with a World of Warcraft account so we can get this sword to them. Do you have an account?" Says the one Blizzard Exec.
"No. I have a life," is the other exec's answer.
Or: When they're discussing the insane yahoo that's killing everyone w/out asking for dueling permission. They talk about how good this guy is and how often he would've had to play the game to get so good their Admins can't boot them out.
"We're talking about someone with NO life."
"How do you kill that which has no life?"

ANYway--The episode is filled with excellent jokes. My sister watched it twice. The irony of this, of course, is that she's a WoW junkie herself. And she thought the episode "pwnd" to use the parlance. Naturally, this made her want to play the game even more as well as a renewed attempt at luring me in. She even offered to pay for my account. I've always liked RPG's. And if she's footing the bill, why the hell not? But I've never been as nuts about an RPG like most WoW players are.
"Butters, go out and buy World of Warcraft and join in the online gaming sensation so we don't kill you."
Suffice to say, I've been sucked in.
I have a male Troll Warrior named "Merridew". Some bastard already took Magua. On the alliance side, I've got a male Dwarf Rogue named "Fishbelly". So far, I must confess it's a relatively captivating game. But as I said, I've been an RPG fan for a long time now. My RPG-ing goes all the way back to Dragon Warrior on the Nintendo. The other biggie for me was Final Fantasy. 7 especially so. I even invested some money in the old-timey RPGs a couple years back.(Dungeons and Dragons with the book and dice.) And the game play in WoW is similar--in terms of leveling, picking up objects and learning spells/abilities. Mike tells me that there's a level ceiling and you can't really 'Beat the Game'. Here I thought I'd just piddle around and level myself up to invincible infinity. But they max out at 60. Bummer.
If Jim knew I was playing WoW--He'd shoot me, I'm sure. But he hasn't seen me go to town on Age of Empires yet. I finally got it installed on Miracle(my inhereted laptop), but need to crack to play it without the CD. But you know what? I've made up my mind that if it's OK for him to spend a day playing Zuma while I sit there, ready to fall asleep then I shouldn't feel guilty about playing AoE over here by the door while he's popping balls over at his machine.
Right?

Friday, July 14, 2006

Syd Barrett is no longer with us


"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, ...angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night." -- Allen Ginsberg, Howl

Jim was looking at the MSN article: http://www.slate.com/id/2145531/?GT1=8391 and motioned for me to look at the photo and help identify the members. I didn't even stop to read the text. For some reason, I only focused on the photo. I point out Syd. Jim says: "So he's the one that died?"
Like I said, I didn't read any of the text and as far as I knew, Syd was still alive. Locked up in an asylum, but still alive. So I said: "Oh, no. He's in a nut ward. But he's not dead."
"He's not?" He forwarded the article to me and after reading it I feel like such a dope for saying that. But then I've been doing nothing but fucking up lately, and being stupid in general...

There were no particulars as to how Syd died and they confess that no one knows the exact day he died. Only that he was 60 years old.
There are arguments about whether the post-Syd Floyd was better than when he was with them, but I like all three eras.(Syd, post-Syd, and post-Roger) But they're each different in their own way. It was like a metamorphasis of sorts.
When I'd completely fallen head-over-heels in love with Pink Floyd, I made up my mind I would start at the beginning and collect all the albums. I started with Pipers at the Gates of Dawn, which prompted me to purchase Wind in the Willows, which was a book I hadn't looked at since I was a wee pup.

Syd's lyrics were light and witty. It was like he preferred having fun with the music as opposed to some musicians that want to spend 14 tracks whining about the woman that left them or growl out angst-ridden diatribes about suicide and general oppression. The message in Syd's musci was to celebrate imagination. To encourage thinking outside the box. Imagination is precious and highly valuable. And each of us need to preserve our own imagination at all costs. If we lose it, the future could get quite scary.

So anyway--
A final salute to you, Syd. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Wal-Mart can suck a black turd

I'd been patiently waiting to hear from them for a little over a month, but nothing. I even called them; "This is all new to us." I'll get a call from the main office if I'm chosen.
My sister put in an application on a Friday and gets an interview Thursday of the very next week. Looking for night shift over at the Dubuque store. As it turned out, the position was filled about four hours after they'd called to remind Sarah of her second interview.
So I figure Wal-Mart's a no-go. I'm told applications are only valid for 60 days and in a week or so mine'll be dead.

Yes, it's time to consider different venues. But it's also time to write. Hell, it's ALWAYS time to write. I just wish I could be better at staying on task with it. I put out three short stories and the 1st 20 pgs of Lunatic Lounge. Of these four, 2 have come back so far.
A little warning to those thinking about submitting to Soho Press: Don't bother putting sufficient postage to return the MS because all you get is a letter.
I mean, I might not've minded- Rejections are expected in this game. What really cheesed me about it was the money I blew on postage. I paid for enough postage that they could've included the MS with the rejection letter. If I'd known they were going to chuck the MS and just send me a letter, I would've saved myself some money and just enclosed a regular business envelope with a single stamp.
ANYway,
29-Cent Stamp came back from Happy with a scrap of paper offering subscriptions to their magazine and a quick scribble saying it wasn't for Happy.
I've yet to hear back on Kirby and Rosemary's Pie. Each of these stories were sent to magazines that focus on horror, so I'd like to think they stand a better chance.
There's a Glimmertrain Short Story Contest coming up and I've got to get a submission together. Maybe two. (You can submit as many stories as you like, but the entry fee's $15 per story)
Be the Writer.
Nanananananananaa....

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Cut-Throat Capitalism, Here I Come!!

The new Super Wal-Mart's up and running. Has been for a few weeks now. When it was preparing to open it's doors, there were protest posters on campus inviting people to assemble in the parking lot to protest. "Fight Cut-Throat Capitalism!" was the brilliant header. I was first told that only three protesters managed to make it, but someone later told me that it did eventually grow as the day wore on. It's true that I viewed it as an unintentional joke, but I'm sure the protesters' hearts were in the right place. I think laughing at it made me feel better about applying for a position there. But it also made me reflect on why I'm attempting to apply there.

The Hounds at the Student Loan Offices have been snapping at my heels, demanding my three month delinquent payment which is undoubtedly ruining my credit rating and the need for a second job is becoming more and more pressing. While Wal-Mart is an awful coporate monster that is becoming too big for its britches, it's still an employment opportunity for poor people like me. Call me a sell-out, I don't care. I'd rather do that then have a black mark on my credit rating that'll follow me for the rest of my life.

Jobs are mighty dear in this country and beggars can't be choosey.

But what's really getting me torqued is their new application process. I went in there, happy and unassuming, thinking this'd be easy as pie. Boy, was I wrong. I go to the Customer Service Desk and I'm directed to a terminal in the corner near the carpet shampoo rentals. The screen says: "Cannot find page"(Like the kind you get on the Internet, asking you to try refreshing or going backwards to try again). I turn to the clerk behind the counter, who's pressumably a Customer Service Representative, and ask him if it needs to be refreshed or reloaded some how. He shrugs, punches some buttons, shrugs some more and admits he has no idea. But I'm welcome to try the terminal back in Layaway.
So I get to navagate my way through the vast forest of consumer goods, keeping a hopeful eye out for a hanging tab that reads "Layaway". I felt like Jack Torrence searching through the shrubbery maze for his son, Danny. Only not as cold.
When I get there, there's a young girl there--16, 17 tops. Her little sister and mother are there watching her struggle through what must've been her first job application. What doesn't help matters any is how slowly each page is loading. Almost an hour had passed and as I shifted my weight on my aching feet, I loosed a sigh. The girl looks up at me and says: "You know, there's another terminal up front."
"I know," I answered, fighting the bitter frustration, "I've been there and it doesn't work.
"This one's barely working," the girl's mother said with exasperation.
I don't recall how much longer I waited, but behind me there was a team of clerks trying to figure out why the register's weren't accepting debit cards and to the left of me was a line of mother's with their devilish wee-walkers anxiously awaiting for the rest rooms to open up. They seemed a bit prickly to find out that they were closed for cleaning.
Eventually, the girl's mother at the application termial tells her to abort the mission because they'd be there forever and a day waiting. As it was, the terminal froze up on the girl when she tried choosing the "Exit" Option which was supposed to save what she'd done so far. It was at this point that I silently cursed the incompetence of technology and left the store. Maybe another time.

Another time, indeed.
I returned just yesterday(Tuesday) to find the Customer Service terminal accessable and was plugging along with it at a pretty good clip. Then I hit the 'Customer Relations' Questions. Providing a scenario (an angry customer, a difficult co-worker, etc.) with a list of possible solutions, and asking me to rate the effectiveness of each solution. What I found unique about this was that these questions seemed to be 85% of the application making it 3 times longer than a regular job application.(Or maybe I live a sheltered life and haven't seen enough job apps).
ANYway-- I'm on page 13 of 67 of these suckers when the terminal freezes on me.
I try to be patient. Really, I do. Shit, I waited 20 minutes on that beast. No dice. I asked the Customer Service Clerk(who was a different clerk by the way and she seemed to be a little more on the ball--And exceptionally pleasant, I might add). She tells me they're having issues with their satellites, apologizes and calls someone for help(as opposed to just standing there and shrugging dumbly-- She was definately more with it than the previous clerk). She's told that the only way to refresh/reset it is to unplug and replug it. Which she does. When it finally finishes rebooting, I get the dreaded: "Cannot find page."
~~Insert Charlie Brown "AUUUGH" here.~~
The clerk apologizes, clearly empathetic and sorry that there isn't more she can do. We both shrug in defeat and I leave. Maybe later, I told myself again.

I've been conditioned to the '3 Strikes' idea--Which is a queersome phenomenon I can't begin to explain--But it basically means I'll go back there one last time. If I strike out, I'm going to give K-Mart a shot. Maybe they'll be using regular paper applications that won't freeze up on me or take 20 minutes to load the next batch of questions.