A True Original

Oh Buddie, Buddie. Your ghost will be haunting the Art Building, I'm sure. We'll miss you.

My Art professor and friend, Bud Wall passed away Monday. We'd heard he wasn't doing well and were making plans to go see him that afternoon. When we got there the nurse told us Bud was gone. I couldn't believe it. Was I dreaming? Was the nurse playing a bad joke? Bud? Gone? No way. There's been a lot of art work, gag/novelty finds, and other items of eccentricity that we'd gone through in his office the last two days. We had a fair number of volunteers helping out. Usually, somebody'd find something and giggle or laugh. A lot of shaking your head, chuckling and saying "Buddie, Buddie." We'll miss you Bud. For sure. Won't be the same without you.

AFI's 100 most memorable movie quotes

1. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," "Gone With the Wind," 1939.

2. "I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse," "The Godfather," 1972.

3. "You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am," "On the Waterfront," 1954.

4. "Toto, I've got a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore," "The Wizard of Oz," 1939.

5. "Here's looking at you, kid," "Casablanca," 1942.

6. "Go ahead, make my day," "Sudden Impact," 1983.

7. "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up," "Sunset Blvd.," 1950.

8. "May the Force be with you," "Star Wars," 1977.

9. "Fasten your seatbelts. It's going to be a bumpy night," "All About Eve," 1950.

10. "You talking to me?" "Taxi Driver," 1976.

11. "What we've got here is failure to communicate," "Cool Hand Luke," 1967.

12. "I love the smell of napalm in the morning," "Apocalypse Now," 1979.

13. "Love means never having to say you're sorry," "Love Story," 1970.

14. "The stuff that dreams are made of," "The Maltese Falcon," 1941.

15. "E.T. phone home," "E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial," 1982.

16. "They call me Mister Tibbs!", "In the Heat of the Night," 1967.

17. "Rosebud," "Citizen Kane," 1941.

18. "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!", "White Heat," 1949.

19. "I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!", "Network," 1976.

20. "Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship," "Casablanca," 1942.

21. "A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti," "The Silence of the Lambs," 1991.

22. "Bond. James Bond," "Dr. No," 1962.

23. "There's no place like home," "The Wizard of Oz," 1939.

24. "I am big! It's the pictures that got small," "Sunset Blvd.," 1950.

25. "Show me the money!", "Jerry Maguire," 1996.

26. "Why don't you come up sometime and see me?", "She Done Him Wrong," 1933.

27. "I'm walking here! I'm walking here!", "Midnight Cowboy," 1969.

28. "Play it, Sam. Play 'As Time Goes By,'" "Casablanca," 1942.

29. "You can't handle the truth!", "A Few Good Men," 1992.

30. "I want to be alone," "Grand Hotel," 1932.

31. "After all, tomorrow is another day!", "Gone With the Wind," 1939.

32. "Round up the usual suspects," "Casablanca," 1942.

33. "I'll have what she's having," "When Harry Met Sally...," 1989.

34. "You know how to whistle, don't you, Steve? You just put your lips together and blow," "To Have and Have Not," 1944.

35. "You're gonna need a bigger boat," "Jaws," 1975.

36. "Badges? We ain't got no badges! We don't need no badges! I don't have to show you any stinking badges!", "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre," 1948.

37. "I'll be back," "The Terminator," 1984.

38. "Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth," "The Pride of the Yankees," 1942.

39. "If you build it, he will come," "Field of Dreams," 1989.

40. "Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get," "Forrest Gump," 1994.

41. "We rob banks," "Bonnie and Clyde," 1967.

42. "Plastics," "The Graduate," 1967.

43. "We'll always have Paris," "Casablanca," 1942.

44. "I see dead people," "The Sixth Sense," 1999.

45. "Stella! Hey, Stella!", "A Streetcar Named Desire," 1951.

46. "Oh, Jerry, don't let's ask for the moon. We have the stars," "Now, Voyager," 1942.

47. "Shane. Shane. Come back!", "Shane," 1953.

48. "Well, nobody's perfect," "Some Like It Hot," 1959.

49. "It's alive! It's alive!", "Frankenstein," 1931.

50. "Houston, we have a problem," "Apollo 13," 1995.

51. "You've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya, punk?", "Dirty Harry," 1971.

52. "You had me at `hello,'" "Jerry Maguire," 1996.

53. "One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know," "Animal Crackers," 1930.

54. "There's no crying in baseball!", "A League of Their Own," 1992.

55. "La-dee-da, la-dee-da," "Annie Hall," 1977.

56. "A boy's best friend is his mother," "Psycho," 1960.

57. "Greed, for lack of a better word, is good," "Wall Street," 1987.

58. "Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer," "The Godfather Part II," 1974.

59. "As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again," "Gone With the Wind," 1939.

60. "Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!", "Sons of the Desert," 1933.

61. "Say `hello' to my little friend!", "Scarface," 1983.

62. "What a dump," "Beyond the Forest," 1949.

63. "Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?", "The Graduate," 1967.

64. "Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room!", "Dr. Strangelove," 1964.

65. "Elementary, my dear Watson," "The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes," 1929.

66. "Get your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape," "Planet of the Apes," 1968.

67. "Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine," "Casablanca," 1942.

68. "Here's Johnny!", "The Shining," 1980.

69. "They're here!", "Poltergeist," 1982.

70. "Is it safe?", "Marathon Man," 1976.

71. "Wait a minute, wait a minute. You ain't heard nothin' yet!", "The Jazz Singer," 1927.

72. "No wire hangers, ever!", "Mommie Dearest," 1981.

73. "Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?", "Little Caesar," 1930.

74. "Forget it, Jake, it's Chinatown," "Chinatown," 1974.

75. "I have always depended on the kindness of strangers," "A Streetcar Named Desire," 1951.

76. "Hasta la vista, baby," "Terminator 2: Judgment Day," 1991.

77. "Soylent Green is people!", "Soylent Green," 1973.

78. "Open the pod bay doors, HAL," "2001: A Space Odyssey," 1968.

79. Striker: "Surely you can't be serious." Rumack: "I am serious ... and don't call me Shirley," "Airplane!", 1980.

80. "Yo, Adrian!", "Rocky," 1976.

81. "Hello, gorgeous," "Funny Girl," 1968.

82. "Toga! Toga!", "National Lampoon's Animal House," 1978.

83. "Listen to them. Children of the night. What music they make," "Dracula," 1931.

84. "Oh, no, it wasn't the airplanes. It was Beauty killed the Beast," "King Kong," 1933.

85. "My precious," "The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers," 2002.

86. "Attica! Attica!", "Dog Day Afternoon," 1975.

87. "Sawyer, you're going out a youngster, but you've got to come back a star!", "42nd Street," 1933.

88. "Listen to me, mister. You're my knight in shining armor. Don't you forget it. You're going to get back on that horse, and I'm going to be right behind you, holding on tight, and away we're gonna go, go, go!", "On Golden Pond," 1981.

89. "Tell 'em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper," "Knute Rockne, All American," 1940.

90. "A martini. Shaken, not stirred," "Goldfinger," 1964.

91. "Who's on first," "The Naughty Nineties," 1945.

92. "Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac ... It's in the hole! It's in the hole! It's in the hole!", "Caddyshack," 1980.

93. "Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!", "Auntie Mame," 1958.

94. "I feel the need - the need for speed!", "Top Gun," 1986.

95. "Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary," "Dead Poets Society," 1989.

96. "Snap out of it!", "Moonstruck," 1987.

97. "My mother thanks you. My father thanks you. My sister thanks you. And I thank you," "Yankee Doodle Dandy," 1942.

98. "Nobody puts Baby in a corner," "Dirty Dancing," 1987.

99. "I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!", "The Wizard of Oz," 1939.

100. "I'm king of the world!", "Titanic," 1997.

Vermillion and Blue Beads

Rendezvous was outstanding! I can't wait to do it again next year. I wish I didn't have to work this weekend, otherwise I'd still be up there.
At first, I was concerned that I didn't have anything 'period appropriate' to wear. But then I remembered my white cotton skirt.(Which I had worn to Noelle's birthday party) and a burgundy blouse with tiny floral prints. I don't know if it was coincidence or fate, but Jim's rendezvous shirt was very similar in color and pattern. I wore my turtle shell pouch, which Jim got for me from last rendezvous.
As I was headed out the door, Chico rushed up to greet Jim. Jim asked if I wanted to take the boy with me. Would it be kosher? "Sure, people bring their dogs all the time. You got his leash?" Yup. And we were off.
When we got there, James and Christine were already there in their pole tent. Jim affectionately calls them 'blackskinners'. I've never asked, but I took it to be a play on 'buckskinner'. ANYway, they were recently married at a Bloody Lake Rendezvous, and this rendezvous was their honeymoon. Christine got Chico to play with her, after much finger sniffing and hesitation on Chico's part.
Jim played fetch with Chico while we waited for Tim to arrive with the wall tent. Deb's daughter, Jillian had her little boy, Brekken with her. Brekken got passed to Jillian's husband, and then to Jim while they put up their teepee. Then Jim passed Brekken to me. I've never really held a baby before. I wanted Brekken to be comfy there, and was worried about whether or not he was. He must've been content with the way I had him situated, because he didn't squirm or cry. Just stared down at Chico, gripping some of my hair. He eventually started squirming and his mother said he was probably tired. By then, their teepee was up, so we could lay Brekken down inside for a nap.
Then Tim arrived with the wall tent. A couple hours and several curses later, the tent was up. So naturally, we had to bless the tent. Sage insence was lit(among other things) and we then decided to head out for a walkabout.(See who was here, what kind of shops there were and what they had, etc.) What was so nice about it was that it was so leisurely. There was just something indescribable. Jim in his buckskin pants, printed brown shirt, belt with red sash and his hat. I in my white skirt and burgundy blouse, barefoot on the blacktop. I went both days completely barefoot. As a matter of fact, I forgot to grab my sandals last night and they're probably still there. Of course, don't forget to add to this picture a wee little 10 pound chihuahua following us, darting in between our ankles as we walked. Everyone crying out: "Oh look at the cute little puppy!" Chico definately stole the show those two days. And Chico really could've done without it. Although, I must admit, by the second day he was seeming more used to it. I think by Sunday he may not have wanted to leave. There's always next year.
Jim got himself a new hatchet. A really nice one. I got a couple strings of glass beads. Blue beads, no less. We were quoting Mountain Men nearly all weekend. I was all giggles most of the time. Friday afternoon we were both feeling kind of tired(coming down) and Christine commented on it seeming odd.(Jim wasn't chattering/joking around, and I wasn't giggling.) But we warmed up again and many more jokes were told.
Boo teased my Friday morning: "Somebody's gotta go back today," he said in a sing-song. Grr. I had been asked by Tim and Boo both if I was enjoying Rendezvous. I said I was absolutely loving it and wished I didn't have to work so I could stay. I said something to Jim about doing this again next year. "You having a good time?" He asked. "Oh yeah!" You couldn't get the smile off my face. I just wish the batteries in Jim's camera hadn't died.(Or that I'd brought my own camera) Deb took a couple pictures.. maybe she'll send copies along... On our last walkabout Thursday night, Chico was accosted by a little toehead. It shocked Chico to say the least. So I calmed Chico down and then I got a tap on my shoulder. Jocelyn? Small, small world, non? There was some brief chit-chat and she took her son back with her to their tent. She invited me to stop by. Tim, Boo and Jim were with me, and Tim said we'd swing by on our way back through. And we did. I held Chico to calm him so Scotty could pet Chico. Then, as we stood there, Tim had already struck up a conversation with someone else there in the tent. I was so fried, which made me quiet. Then Jim put his arm around my waist, I rested my head on his shoulder. I worry that maybe my quietness was misinterpreted as being anti-social. But that's just how I am when I'm fried. Quiet, taking everything in, and when something strikes me as funny, I laugh my fool head off.
ANYway,
I saw all sorts of dresses and blouses that I loved, but the more I thought about it, it occured to me that I could make my own. Jim agreed--He'd made his own buckskin pants. I said I'd never worked in leather(Whether or not I could fashion a buckskin dress or a possibles bag) He said it's just like regular sewing only you need a more serious needle and leather strips instead of thread. They're projects for me to try for next year.

It felt weird to come back to the house last night. Sleeping on memory foam, as opposed to the canvas bedroll. Having coffee from a coffee pot and not boiled over an open fire. And this was after only 2 days. I loved it out there. It was so relaxing and so much fun. Like Jim had said: "My worst day at rendezvous is better than my best day at work" Amen.

We want something natural

Mom has pushed the Milo issue, but not directly. Actually, I started it by thinking out loud, trying to figure out such a heavy decision. I told Mom it was easy to make the decision with Momma Rat, because she'd bit me-A clear sign she was in pain.
"So are you gonna wait until Milo bites you?" My mother quipped.
"Allow me to rephrase--Whem Momma bit me, it became clear to me that Momma was no longer herself. So too, when Milo stops being himself, I'll know it's time."--When he stops engaging in the things he loves. Which has actually been slowing down. There've been no escape attempts to get outside. And this time of year he's almost constantly pining to go outside. He doesn't greet my father with the same enthusiasm when my father returns from his truck route. And Milo's spending more and more time in his quiet, dark little box in the basement. So the time is near. I need to accept this. Harness some Zen Moments so I can be at peace with all of this. Maybe he'll go naturally--Y'know, just quietly wander off to his dark little box to sleep and not wake up. As long as he acheives peace, that's all that matters.

ANYway--On to a happier topic.
I'm going with Jim to Rendezvous tomorrow. Setting up the tent and spending the night. Jim's bringing me back Friday because we'd both hate to be driving back here at 2 in the morning so I can get to work on time.(It's like a 4 hour drive up there.) It was a sort of last minute decision(things were kinda iffy due to my work this weekend- But Jim figured hell, 2 days is better than none.) ANYway, since it was a last minute decision, we were unable to acquire any authentic 'period' clothing for me to wear. One of the persons we're sharing the campsite with said not to worry about it. "Fuck them people," she said. (Some of the people at Rendezvous get particular about campers who aren't in authentic period dress.)
It's going to be fun, I'm sure. I have a little speck of worry about sticking out like a sore thumb in my blue jeans, but other than that, I can't wait.

Pie and Ice Cream

I don't remember how the story went, but somebody settled for a Hostess Fruit Pie slightly nuked with a side of ice cream instead of a pie and ice cream at some tourist restaurant. Jesus-- I forgot.
ANYway, the point? Well, I just had a tuna melt for dinner and I'm currently contemplating desert. I have a variety of sweets at my disposal: Junior Mints, York Peppermint Patties, Cherry Slices, Peanut butter cups, --Oh, and don't forget the rest of that Hagan Daas I was waiting to treat myself to when I hit a second landmark/goal post with my smoking. Funny part of it is, I hadn't determined what the goal was that would earn me the rest of the Hagan Daas.--It's Butter Pecan. And I don't mind telling you that it's quite possibly the best damned butter pecan ice cream I've ever had the pleasure to enjoy. Maybe that's why I hesitate in finishing it off. Oh, but you only live once. And I've been smoke free for five months now. Besides, Hagan Daas will make more. It's not the last butter pecan I'll ever get my grubby little hands on.
My father's a butter pecan fan. Oh, he's an ice cream fan, period. I wonder if that's where I got my love of ice cream.

I've always been told: "You're like your father" But then, I can't imagine my mother telling me I'm like her. Jim says I'm bound to be like her in certain ways. Cuz she's my mom and she raised me. Sure, I can dig that. But I don't want to be totally like her. well-- Jim said, immitating the way I say it, and how eerily similar it is to mom.
"But at least I don't cackle like my mom," I said, searching for some comfort here.
Jim threw me an well, I don't know about that look. It made me cringe.
"Oh god, I'll never laugh again."
Jim started tickling me to get me to laugh. Who'm I kidding? Telling me not to laugh is like asking a dog not to bark. I've told him if I ever get like my mom, to smack me. Then a little while later, "You told me you loved my laugh," I start off almost plaintively.
"Did I say I didn't?"
"Well, I don't cackle do I?"
"That just bothers the shit out of you, doesn't it?" Jim asked with a chuckle.
I put my fingers to my lips with nervous self-consciousness. This makes Jim laugh even more. Either he's doing this just to mess with my head for a good joke, or these are similarities to my mother he can live with. Usually, comparing me to my mother has earned dirty looks and threats of bodily harm. But in learning not to take life too seriously.

Well--I need to get this creative engine rolling. I've got a murder-mystery short story I've been trying to figure out for the last couple days and it's going to require a change in tactics. I'm going to try writing the murder first and then working backwards. We'll see. How does Jessica Fletcher do it? She'd be having tea and cookies with Seth, the local doctor, to cope with her writer's block. *yes, I've watched many episodes.*

Loaded questions

I go to pick up my bottle of Mr. Pibb, looking for its lid. I don’t see it, go to take a drink and the lid was still on the bottle. Jim snickered. He could see what was going on. I did it a 2nd time and then he told me to tell him when I would next take a drink so he can remind me to take off the lid. Ah hahaha. He makes a joke about killing brain cells with substances. I ask if I’ve gotten dumber. Jim chuckles and says that’s a rip-cord he knows better than to pull. It’s dangerous to answer, so he’ll just steer clear of it.
I end up talking about how crazy my mother is. The games she plays with Dad while demanding he be up front with her.
Jim shakes his head.
Then I look at the time and decide to do dishes. It’ll be helpful. Needs to be done. I’ve done it enough times that I don’t think I could screw it up. Then it was time to go.

Jim said we’d let the bike warm up some more while ‘Step n’ Fetch’ made his way down the hill.(Some feeble old man who was moving really slow and rickety) I laughed. Jim asked why I laughed. I’d never head that before: Step n Fetch. Struck me as cute/funny.
"Watch this," Jim said, shutting off the engine.
We silently glided down the hill past Step n’ Fetch quiet and easy. I told him I thought that was too cool.(coasting) "Well, yeah!" he answered. We both laughed.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to see Milo. mum says he yowled in pain yesterday. Poor guy. I'm going to spend the morning with him. Just to be with him and to get an idea of how he's feeling.(To better decide if/when he should be put down) Most of all, just to be with him.

"Cream Corn? I asked for no cream corn!"

Go Mrs. Tremont.(Twin Peaks)

I got a call from my mum yesterday. She told me all about Milo's incontenence and how I might want to think about putting Milo down. My first inclination was to turn this into mom playing a mind game with me-- When she'd said if I came to see Milo more often she could see keeping him around longer.
Noelle has offered her support and empathy. And I'm very grateful for it.
Jim and I had a discussion about it...He didn't say it specifically, but indirectly he got me to thinking about it more. It's not about mom winning out or whether or not mom will manipulate me and Milo. It's about accepting the fact that Milo's reaching the end of his life cycle here in this plane. And whether or not Milo's in any pain. This is about Milo. Whether or not he's miserable and in pain. What's best for him. Not a power struggle between me and mom.
'sfunny. I kept talking about how I was sure mom'd be bugging me about putting Milo down and Jim turned to me and said: "Were you wanting me to put him down for you?" Almost as though he thought I was trying to indirectly ask him to. (He had put Momma Rat down for me a couple years back when she developed a mamary tumor) And instead, it helps me realize what this is about-- It's about Milo. My boy. My old man.

In other news, the novel's coming along swimmingly. Just fleshing out the townsfolk. Fleshing. ha ha. ANYway...
We had a raccoon outside last night. About the size of a cat. Chico thought he might take the raccoon on, lurching forward and then back. I step out, knowing that it would turn out bad if Chico got into a scuffle with the little critter. It must've been moving cuz it made a beeline to the other side of Sarah's car and then it was gone. Chico was mystified to say the least, but I corraled him inside and advised him to forget about it. That raccoon would've had Chico for lunch. Nevermind the possibility of rabies.

I feel so guilty about today. I was going to put The Office on dual layer DVD's for Noelle so they wouldn't be so badly broken up... And for some reason the drive's being a total whore. And my brother's gone paintballing so I can't pick his brain for tech support.
My mother shows up with clearance rack apparel for SayRay and me. (SayRay's blog gives an in-depth description of this)--
I put a post on the Aztec blog. And so far, I've only written one sentence on the novel itself. I had the day off from work. This was supposed to make for a delightful day.(Especially with my brother gone.--While the Cat's away, the mice will play, etc.) But it's been so lazy. I feel guilty that I haven't gotten that much done. But then, are we not entitled to lazy days every once in a while?

"Look, Ed. I'm eating bon bons."

"Rejected. That's what the letter said, Ed. Nobody's going to say any different."
"There's plenty of patent attourneys out there, honey. We just have to find one that understands drape runners."

I got a slip back from "Happy". They returned the story and included a flier advertising the editor's new book and how I might buy it in addition to a subscription to Happy. And a slip of paper that says: "Rejection Sucks" and some chicken scrawl that I'm pretty sure says my story wasn't right for Happy and that I should buy their magazine. Grr. But oh well. They wouldn't know great literature if it bit them in the ass. I'll just have to find a magazine that understands great literature.

The second story that's out (29-Cent Stamp) has not yet made it back. This could be a good thing. Or bad. Results may vary.


My poor Milo's maintaining. He still purrs like mad and loves to have a lap to call his own. But the lump is now grapefruit sized(a lumpy grapefruit). He's eating kitten food(higher in protein and calories) and he's still losing weight. He used to be my marmalade butterball. But he's half that size now. Mum feeds him 3 times a day now.(he typically gets fed once with dry food to nibble on)- the last time I was out there-- She was feeding him, holding the plate up so he could eat easier.... I could hear his jaws grinding as he chewed. Mum tells me the canned kitten food is easier for him to eat when mushy and slightly warm.
Like I said... despite the sad eyes and the withering figure, he still purrs, constantly in search of a lap and once he's got your lap he'll stay there as long as you let him. Purring so loud you can hear him across the room.

A Little Nonsense now and then is Cherished by the Wisest Man

I've seen the trailer for the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movie. It stars Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka and will be directed by Tim Burton. I'm so excited. June 15th! I am THERE.
Apparently Marilyn Manson wanted the Wonka role super badly. I really can't say how good of job he would've done with it. I think Johnny Depp was a good choice. I don't think I've ever seen Johnny Depp do a role I didn't like. ANYway... so that's something to look forward to.

I currently have my attention directed to 'AZTEC'(Working Title), my novel about the cannibalistic serial killer in set in a small town. It's looking to be a sort of Fargo/Twin Peaks/Hannibal Lecter sort of thing. Although I have yet to decide if the cannibal is 'high brow' or 'low brow'. If we want to keep the title meaningful(the original intent) our cannibal will probably be a dirty recluse who's doing this for 'religious purposes'. Cerimonial cannibalism. Or we can make him a Hannibal Lecter sort, where he figures it's an indication of his intelligence. Which really creates an interesting piece of irony and would be fun to play with: Someone highly civilized engaging in an activity that has been regarded as savage, foul and vulgar. Hmm... That would be an interesting angle to take on.
Well-- Once the blog for the Aztec is up, there'll be all sorts of little monologues like this one intended to help me keep the book's theme in focus and to keep the plot rolling.

I really can't think of anything else too terribly exciting to report.
Other than we're hoping for our eggs to hatch sometime next week. peep! peep! peep! peep!
The brooder's been built. Next will be the coop.

ANYway....
I've got some more exposition to write.