I've got to be me!
Mother called. Says there's a job opening down at the dog track. Sarah's bonded, I can be too. And that's all it takes to get a job down there. Don't I want it?
She called a 2nd time... talked to Sarah and pushed the dog track again.(I should, too.)
I've written 2 chapters now in my book. I've got some short story ideas laid out in front of me. And I've had an entire pot of coffee. Might soon want something to eat.
ANYway... the surviving thought here is about who has faith in me and what I should be doing. mum still believes writing to be a hobby. Jim believes it can be a career. There's a feeling that comes from this. When I talk about poverty w/ my mother. I want to tell her that Jim thinks I should focus on writing. But there's a little voice that warns me against speaking such foolishness to my mother. My mother knows what's right and proper. And I want desperately for her to acknowledge me as an adult. In order to receive this acknowledgement, I mustn't sound foolish to her. HOWEVER.... With the dog track business, I've made another decision about myself and separating myself from my mother. Jim's told me many times: "Don't try so hard to get your mother's approval because you won't get it." What I want more than anything is for my mom to recognize me as an adult. But this won't ever happen. So it would be better for me to make my own road and not worry about her opinion. Therefore, she can take her dog track idea and shove it up her ass.
I'm a writer. And I shall make a living as such.
Many writers have no job whatsoever. Back in the day, there were many writers whose only source of money for living came from publication.
I could make a tidy sum. Sure. Why not? But not if I don't get these stories finished and in the mail.
"Even if you only make like $100 on a story, that's 100 bucks you didn't have before."
She called a 2nd time... talked to Sarah and pushed the dog track again.(I should, too.)
I've written 2 chapters now in my book. I've got some short story ideas laid out in front of me. And I've had an entire pot of coffee. Might soon want something to eat.
ANYway... the surviving thought here is about who has faith in me and what I should be doing. mum still believes writing to be a hobby. Jim believes it can be a career. There's a feeling that comes from this. When I talk about poverty w/ my mother. I want to tell her that Jim thinks I should focus on writing. But there's a little voice that warns me against speaking such foolishness to my mother. My mother knows what's right and proper. And I want desperately for her to acknowledge me as an adult. In order to receive this acknowledgement, I mustn't sound foolish to her. HOWEVER.... With the dog track business, I've made another decision about myself and separating myself from my mother. Jim's told me many times: "Don't try so hard to get your mother's approval because you won't get it." What I want more than anything is for my mom to recognize me as an adult. But this won't ever happen. So it would be better for me to make my own road and not worry about her opinion. Therefore, she can take her dog track idea and shove it up her ass.
I'm a writer. And I shall make a living as such.
Many writers have no job whatsoever. Back in the day, there were many writers whose only source of money for living came from publication.
I could make a tidy sum. Sure. Why not? But not if I don't get these stories finished and in the mail.
"Even if you only make like $100 on a story, that's 100 bucks you didn't have before."


0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home