The telephone is ringing-- is that my mother on the phone?!
Haven't listened to the Police in a while.
But anyway.... The sentiment here is that my mother is coming this morning to clean my brother's house for him. The last time she was here to clean, she was going through mail and reading reciepts.(In order to better determine where these things should go, she says) She's got her sights on total rearrangement. She's convinced Mike will be delighted. I argued that he won't care until the moment he can't find something because mum's found a new and wonderful place to put it. She says I'm worrying about nothing. HOWEVER, she decided to take stuff out of the bottom shelf of my pantry/cupboard so that there's a nice, clever place for the cat and dog kibble, and 2 days later my sister's asking me where the cat food is.
Again, I think it boils down to my mother's refusal to "let us go". She still thinks she has to do things for us because she doesn't feel the way we're doing it is the "proper" way to do it. She's been watching a lot of "space rennovation" organizing-type shows, which has also put a huge bug in her ear. I suppose one could argue that this is helping her feel involved in our lives and we should humor her. BUT- Doesn't everyone at some point need to move on and become self-sufficient individuals? None of us asked her to come in and 'rennovate' the space in this house. She just figured we'd be eternally greatful to her for it and that Mike will be pleasantly surprised.
So ANYway... in the spirit of my new resolution to stop worrying...
Jim offered to come in early to pick me up. What I don't know is what time mother's going to show. I'll either already be gone, or just leaving when she shows up. (I doubt she'll call 1st. Probably just show up and let herself in.)-- she was miffed at me last week becuz I was less than enthused about her project and preferred to be with Jim. She's made snide comments since then about my "running off to be with Jim". She'll be miffed again today. Well so what? I know at one point I was thinking I best keep the waters calm between her and I because I wanted to learn how to make mittens and how to put a quilt together. But how badly do I need to know that? And who says I can't learn it on my own elsewhere? Besides, that's a pretty low reason to want to stay friendly. Maybe someday she and I should have the discussion she and her therapist never had. Or maybe the therapist has told her about the empty nest, cutting the cord and control issues. She just has a hard time listening. She figures she's justified in what she does. She pulls the "I guess I'm just guilty of loving you kids too much" card. Aye me dios!
So ANYway... I won't worry about it. I'm a woman now. There are no puppet strings. I'm not going to forfiet my plans just because mum might get upset. I won't play her passive-aggressive game. I'm me. I'm entitled to do what I want. I didn't ask her to come in here and clean things top to bottom, so I'm not obligated to be here.
But anyway.... The sentiment here is that my mother is coming this morning to clean my brother's house for him. The last time she was here to clean, she was going through mail and reading reciepts.(In order to better determine where these things should go, she says) She's got her sights on total rearrangement. She's convinced Mike will be delighted. I argued that he won't care until the moment he can't find something because mum's found a new and wonderful place to put it. She says I'm worrying about nothing. HOWEVER, she decided to take stuff out of the bottom shelf of my pantry/cupboard so that there's a nice, clever place for the cat and dog kibble, and 2 days later my sister's asking me where the cat food is.
Again, I think it boils down to my mother's refusal to "let us go". She still thinks she has to do things for us because she doesn't feel the way we're doing it is the "proper" way to do it. She's been watching a lot of "space rennovation" organizing-type shows, which has also put a huge bug in her ear. I suppose one could argue that this is helping her feel involved in our lives and we should humor her. BUT- Doesn't everyone at some point need to move on and become self-sufficient individuals? None of us asked her to come in and 'rennovate' the space in this house. She just figured we'd be eternally greatful to her for it and that Mike will be pleasantly surprised.
So ANYway... in the spirit of my new resolution to stop worrying...
Jim offered to come in early to pick me up. What I don't know is what time mother's going to show. I'll either already be gone, or just leaving when she shows up. (I doubt she'll call 1st. Probably just show up and let herself in.)-- she was miffed at me last week becuz I was less than enthused about her project and preferred to be with Jim. She's made snide comments since then about my "running off to be with Jim". She'll be miffed again today. Well so what? I know at one point I was thinking I best keep the waters calm between her and I because I wanted to learn how to make mittens and how to put a quilt together. But how badly do I need to know that? And who says I can't learn it on my own elsewhere? Besides, that's a pretty low reason to want to stay friendly. Maybe someday she and I should have the discussion she and her therapist never had. Or maybe the therapist has told her about the empty nest, cutting the cord and control issues. She just has a hard time listening. She figures she's justified in what she does. She pulls the "I guess I'm just guilty of loving you kids too much" card. Aye me dios!
So ANYway... I won't worry about it. I'm a woman now. There are no puppet strings. I'm not going to forfiet my plans just because mum might get upset. I won't play her passive-aggressive game. I'm me. I'm entitled to do what I want. I didn't ask her to come in here and clean things top to bottom, so I'm not obligated to be here.
posted by Sonny Shine at 5:28 AM
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